Life

Today I was fortunate enough to simply be in contact (although, indirectly much of the time) with someone who gave birth to their first child, a baby girl.
I wonder what it is about birth that excites me so much, to the point of tears....I can't imagine what I'll be like if my sisters have babies. I'll be beside myself I know it. This girl was not a stranger, but we are not closest of friends and best buds either yet I found myself anxious and detesting the suspense and then when news of the delivery finally hit, I could hardly think of anything else but the parents and their new daughter...it's so hard to truly grasp the miracle in life, and I believe that's part of what gets me every time. The fact that this little girl was growing inside of this young lady....bit by bit...so carefully knitted together....functioning...perfectly...and not just functioning perfectly the very minute she was born....she didn't just burst through the birth canal and then take the form of a tiny human but from the minute she was conceived her cells were multiplying and organs were developing.....her heart beating so much sooner than so many people out there will want to admit to. When I saw her sweet face...just in a picture, I could not contain myself. Beautiful little honey. The way she looked in that photo was the way she looked just a few hours ago before she entered into this new world. Amazing.
I will have to retract what I said. It's not just the birth of a baby that is so exciting. It's new life. And new life doesn't just happen in the mother's womb.
Congratulations to the wonderful mother and father.

Conviction and Hope

Currently I am hacking my way through this book that was loaned to me by a friend. Upon her handing it to me she engaged in a quick disclaimer: "You'll either love this or hate it". I used the term "hacking" because I feel that is the most appropriate way to describe my experience in reading it so far....it's just like "hacking" my way through a jungle. 1) There is SO much to process
2) I have to pick which path to take in my thoughts and "hack" (there it is again....and I like to imagine myself with a machete...because everyone knows that's what you use to get through a jungle...because everyone surely watches Man vs. Wild) through the parts I disagree with and the ones I agree with.

This is my first time to read a book where I'm learning how to accept some of what the author is saying as her opinion on things, disagree not out of pride but only because I see it as just that...an opinion, and THEN still be able to take "apples of gold" from the text as well because there are many of those. I find the whole thing a little bitter sweet. I'm used to saying HEY I DON'T AGREE WITH THAT and then putting it down because why bother continuing to read.....well the same reason I bother continuing a heated discussion with my husband until we reach a resolution....because much can still be learned. We will not always agree with EVERYTHING a fellow follower comes up with when they form their own opinion on how certain matters should be handled in relationships based upon scripture but then expounded upon....however, every time one of those opinions is directly aligned with the standard set for us through the Bible I have found myself agreeing whole heartedly.
The conviction has always been followed up with by hope.

Another day

I do find it truly astounding how many times I can run into the footboard of our bed. We've only had this in place for maybe a couple of weeks. Thanks to a thoughtful friend it was given to us...along with the head board....I felt so grown up ...and still do walking into my room and seeing a head board on our bed. A real live grown up I would think to myself...until I started running into the footboard every day, and multiple times in one day. I found hope in the assumption that after a few days I'd be used to it and naturally widen my turns around the bed on my way out of the room but that doesn't seem to be the case. After the most recent incident that literally brought me to the floor in shock as my whole leg went numb I had the thought that I may never get to a point where I don't run into it. However I like it so much I can't seem to decide what's worth more.....my legs or the foot board. My most recent bruise count resulting from these collisions totaled just under ten....with one massive discolored soft spot that marks the area that takes repetitive beatings....even now as I stood up to double check my math I bumped my head on the shelf that houses this very computer.....so I will count that bruise as well since it was acquired while talking of the others..indirectly the footboard is still responsible.
There, a nice even ten.
When in life did I start placing such value on things like foot boards and head boards? When in life did I turn into someone who would actually pause to decide if the foot board should remain in place even when it causes so much pain?
Pride. Hard headedness. Stupidity. Laziness. ....any of these could be the culprit, with laziness being the most unlikely.
Either way the footboard is still there for the time being. It's going to take a lot more than paralysis to get me to give in to this fight.

Pride goes before a fall

This of course is the case for me on a regular basis and just when I'm proud of myself for not being proud...I fall.

Mission

It's easy to start something and not finish due to discouragement, lack of will, desire, motivation, due to sudden complications, busy-ness . . . and when it comes to doing things in Christ's name, many times these road blocks are of satan - an attack- how easy we make his job for him when we quit.

Finally

I suppose this should take a new direction now that I'm back on here. There are matters more pressing, than dental expenses, cracker box promises, and what ever other topics I typically choose to cover. Those topics were very important, don't get me wrong and should never be taken lightly, however, the time has come for a change. Not the kind of change our president wanted....not those kinds of changes, but something better . . . but first I must do some changing and although I have an idea of what kind of change I'm aiming for, I know it will come out better than I have ever imagined. I love being cryptic. It makes me feel like a spy.

As much of Him as I choose.....

Let it snow

Rearranging the furniture and toy boxes ....and toys...and books...and more toys....and then some toys...multiple times in Myles' room isn't going to necessarily change the space I have to work with when I get the second crib in there...so i should probably find something better to do with my time.....

Punctuality

....So.....if you're going to tell me that I need to be ready and have three kids fed and ready and a days' worth of stuff ready.....so we can be on the road by 8 a.m......then YOU need to be ready too.....I could have slept for another fifteen minutes at this rate.  coffee time. awesome.

Grinding stones

We have been hittin' the books hard .....still on track to be done with school by the beginning of May...leaving us a whole extra month to work on any leftovers of school without me feeling behind in case this little girl that's coming slows us down more than expected.

I have nothing to make fun of or even anything witty to say.  I am blessed with my children and blessed with my marriage.....for better or for worse and honestly feel the only way I can even come close to showing any sort of appreciation to the God who is responsible for such treasures within a world of such suffering is to do my best with what He has handed me to do and commit to seeking Him and His will for my life.  It's probably easy to think that I'm writing this at a time where things may be going well.  Not necessarily.  They aren't going horribly either.  However....we do owe quite a bit on property taxes at the end of this year and have no idea where that will come from just like many other families. Diapers are almost out..bills are monthly....but we have Christmas gifts to buy, and a baby on the way in NO time that will add significantly to the diaper cost and a few other costs at that....is a dog really a good idea right now?  But it's CHRISTMAS! .... I have challenges with home schooling that leave me beyond frustrated at times....but I accept that as a reality of teaching...I have challenges in my marriage that also leave me beyond frustrated.....(that is definitely the understatement of the year)....but I accept that as a part of being married.....Somehow ...someway...through prayer possibly...through the effort made to seek out God.....or more likely His free and abundant grace my heart has been altered...and continues to be so.....it doesn't stop when you ask Him to be Lord of your life....it continues growing and changing because He has continued growing and changing me....all He truly did require was for me to pick up my cross and follow Him.  How guilty I am of stopping along the way and resting....or sometimes complaining....even arguing....but my eyes are opened to many of His acts of faithfulness, provision, unconditional love.....I could not turn and leave His side....especially not when He never leaves mine...even though I probably will still have days where my lack of faith, obedience, and trust is shameful....I finally know what it feels like to be in love with Christ...and what a silly concept that used to be to me only a year ago....to be in love with Jesus as opposed to simply loving him.    I know He blessed this marriage and blessed me with it...I know He planted the desire in my heart to homeschool and has been my strength...I know He has forgiven me not just for what I have done but spoiled me with blessings in return like a child at Christmas.......He could have stopped at forgiving. I would have understood, expected that.....but instead He has not stopped giving to me what I do not deserve.  How peaceful it feels to be loved by Him.

what your locks say about you

..." if you have fine hair that lacks body...it could be a sign of an underactive thyroid...." No YAHOO....it's hereditary. It's a sign of genes...there is no cure....but thank you for making crap up to try and trick me into hoping for something I'll never have. awesome.

say AAAAAHHHHHH!

I love getting root canals. I wouldn't feel right if I had made it to the end of this year without shelling out at least 2500 in dental expenses.  

Neat

My tactic of just calling the spaghetti squash Ruby in hopes that my husband would just be brainwashed into liking the name back fired on me and now he's more against it than before. Oh well.  At least I know I can cross that off my list of strategies for the future.  

doy

On my cracker box it said that if I wasn't satisfied then I could return the unused portion to them and they would replace it...WHAT....WHAT ON EARTH? If I don't like them then why would I want them to send me MORE OF THEM?????   Think people. PLEASE JUST THINK.  ....and it said that they were savory...GUARANTEED...really? you're going to guarantee something so arbitrary?  okay then...you asked for it.

What's in a name?

While I'm searching through a list of "S" names to see if there are any I like for the new little girl coming soon I came across these priceless features: Sushi, Swastika, and Supreme.  I'm so sure I'm going to name my daughter Swastika....WHAT ON EARTH!

"...And so it often is....

....Faith, prayer, and obedience are our requirements.  We are not offered in exchange immunity and exemption from the world's woes.  What we are offered has to do with another world altogether."

Sleep

...been up since three....or something of that nature....

daughter coughing a lot.....

hot tea is good.....made granola......my hair dryer exploded.....myles still asleep...of course he is.

YESSSSSSS!

I have four followers!  That officially makes me popular.

Love and Marriage

It's too bad you don't figure out how difficult marriage is until AFTER you get married.  Only I had a chance prior ...I just assumed that since this husband wasn't abusive, unfaithful, an alcoholic or addicted to cocaine that it would be easier....Nope.  Just a completely different challenge even with the good ones.

Back by popular DEMAND........

Yes yes here I am.  I've been busier than usual simply because not only did my long lost sister from deep in the hills of Hollywood take time away from her eventful life to come visit but I also have been trying to complete some long over due house projects.  I figured I shouldn't have to wait on Alex for something I'm fully capable of handling.....of course none of them will turn out how he had envisioned but that's what should be fun about being married to me.....I have to go on about how exciting it is to be married to me because he won't.  

Today is Myles' first birthday...however since we had a giant party for him last Saturday I almost forgot.  We won't really be doing anything for him today since he's only one and doesn't know any better...I may squeeze him more than usual or bite off his feet some more...other than that...he's getting the same old apple sauce for breakfast.  He is fortunate however that apple picking just happened to be planned for this evening.  However he probably won't be much use there either....maybe he and I can just munch on some of the apples that overflow from the buckets while Finnegan and Sydnea do all the fun work.  I would hate to miss out and spend my time eating but as a mother I'm used to sacrifice.